Thread:JackFrost23/@comment-25249703-20180206191032

Hey, Jack.

You might remember me and you might not; I used to go by the username Gamer.Matt and was a Rollback here on the Red Dead Wiki a long time ago. I wanted to take a moment to message you and fully explain the incident that occured those six years ago, just to clear the air and get a lot of things off my chest, finally.

You may remember that I was accused of, as you put it, "malicious intent to decieve" by telling you and many other members of the Wiki that I had a way of accessing data from RDR game discs in order to name previously unnamed NPCs. Obviously, this was untrue, you found this to be untrue, and I was permanently blocked for it.

You were right about it being intent to deceive. However, it wasn't malicious. At the time I was made Rollback, I was sixteen. I was so motivated and inspired by the approval and the gratification given to me by helping the Wiki during a hard period in my life, and the friends I'd made here as a result of my contributions, that I wanted to make more.

My self-esteem at that point in my life had degraded to the point where simply having friends that valued me and enjoyed having me around was phenomenal, and I strove to maintain those friendships by continuing to be valuable and make contributions here. But I didn't know how to do that, so I made up a lie - a lie that, I thought, would do exactly that.

When you caught me and found out that I'd been deceptive, I got scared. I didn't want to lose any of the friends I'd made here; all I'd wanted to do was strengthen those bonds and make you all value me more than you already did. I was too foolish to consider that I'd be doing it at the cost of the wiki and that you'd all find out and feel betrayed eventually, and so when you did find out, I maintained the lie out of fear of losing everyone if I fessed up.

In the end, I lost you all anyway. I've revisited my Talk page dozens of times over the last six years and all I ever feel is regret. I want to continue contributing here at the RDR Wiki, and God willing, I'd like to make recompenses with you and with the other people who I decieved and betrayed with my actions in 2012. I never meant to hurt anyone.

I'm sorry, Jack. Truly. 