User blog:Dingo Man/The Unholy Trinity: Chapter Three- The Delusional King

Before the convoy pulled up, they could see Elijah nervously scurrying into the bar, looking left and right. "There"! John said in an enthusiastic whisper. The convoy stopped infront of the saloon and one of the men got off his horse, put a bugle up to his lips and played the most atrocious fanfare one could hear. "No No No you blithering idiot!" yelled a posh British accent from inside the  center stage coach, "like this!" there was a pause; "WELL SOMEONE OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR"! Three men hurried to the stagecoach, opened the door, and helped out a very short, plump man with bushy, long hair down to his shoulders. He was very well dressed, wearing the finest clothes seen in the territory. Two armed men got out of the stagecoach with him and he snatched the bugle from his henchman's hand and played the fanfare with out any mistakes. There was another pause before the plump man erupted "WELL SAY THE BLOODY PHRASE"! Another one of his men, a very large, strong looking man pulled out a scroll and began slowly reading in a deep southern drawl, "Preeesintin' his...his... majesty, lawrd of...um... Ch...Cholla Springs, Richard Barnacle". "Ugh, close enough," Richard said, hitting the man over the head with his cane and then entering the bar, "Damn peseants". Shortly after he entered, they ran in behind him. "John, go up top and keep watch from the balcony. Make sure this polished turd doesn't try anything funny". Owen took a seat at the bar and ordered a whiskey. Richard, who had been arguing with a prostitute for scuffing his boot, finally took a seat. "I'll have your finest Pinot grigio." Richard said to the bartender. He looked at Richard, puzzled and said that they didn't have any in stock. "Ok, then a glass of sherry." He said, looking irritated. "Um, we don't got that either." the bartender said. Richard looked very annoyed and said through gritted teeth "Then I'll have the most expensive drink you have for God's sake"! The bartender took a glass of scotch off the shelf and poured him a glass. Richard took a sip and smiled. The bartender looked relieved for a second and Richard told him to move in closer as he had a secrate to tell him. Just then, he smashed the glass over his head and yelled "HOW DARE YOU SERVE THIS ROTGUT GARBAGE TO ME, A NOBELMAN! YOU WORTHLESS SHIT! I SHOULD HAVE YOU KILLED"! This didn't matter, the bartender was out cold. He looked at the piano man and told him to play Symphony Number 9 by Beethoven. The piano man said he didn't know how to play that, which only further angered Richard. He looked at Owen and said "I see you admiring my clothes. It's only the latest fashion, hand made by only the most exclusive designers in Milan". "What'd it take for me to get a suit like that?" Owen joked. Richard threw his head back and laughed "More money than you'll ever have you worthless yokel!" Richard looked around the bar and said "Good Lord, hasn't this place heard of culture"? He then drew his Griswold and shot the piano man in the chest. Every other patrol and prostitue ran like hell out of the bar. One of his body guards grabbed his arm and yelled "Whoa Whoa! What the hell are you doing!?!?" Richard yelled "Get your filthy, peseant hands off of me! You two," he said, pointing to two of his men, "take him out back and beat some sense into him! The rest of you, let's go!" The two men dragged the guard out back and Richard and his men exited the bar and departed the town. John was rushing down stairs and said loudly "Stick to the plan!" They both pulled out their peacemakers and ran to the back room.