Posse:Bent Tree Boys

History

The gang’s history is one written in blood and blurred by whiskey. Formed on the banks of the mighty Black Warrior River in the heartland of Alabama, the Bent Tree Boys were renowned for their lust of fame, riches, and violence. Their only redeemable quality would seem to be their unquenchable thirst for fine liquor and exquisite women, but even that remains suspect at times. The Bent Tree Boys began their deluge of debauchery when one of the founding members, Josue La Astucia, had a run in with local authorities after becoming riotously intoxicated with some Puerto Ricans. After throwing every bottle in his disposal at the deputies, Josue was overcome and taken to the town jailhouse to await trial. When news of Josue’s arrest reached the other original members, “Loco” Zorro and Chunns of Anarchy, they hatched a plan to bust their comrade out of captivity. While their intentions were commendable and their drive strong, there was one problem--as with most decisions made by the Bent Tree Boys, this one was fueled by nothing more than tequila and a strong desire to blow something up. As Loco Zorro and Chunns approached the jailhouse, Chunn’s agave-driven bravado got the better of him and he began yelling incoherent strings of obscenities at the deputies within the jailhouse. Upon hearing the commotion outside, the deputies gathered their firearms and ran out into the night. No man could have been prepared for what they saw: both Zorro and Chunns had stripped down to nothing more than sombreros and bandoleers, waving Molotov cocktails wildly both hands, and were charging atop their burros straight into the front door. The deputies became hysterical and scattered at the sight of what they could only assume to be their drunk and naked harbingers of death. In all of the chaos, Loco and Chunn’s burros became confused and smashed into the side of the building, knocking Josue’s would-be rescuers unconscious in a heap outside. As fate would have it, the fourth founding member, Capital Gains Janes, had been kicked out of the nearby brothel for attempting to steal the piano and was wandering around the town in a drunken stupor singing his favorite Danish drinking songs. When he saw the two unconscious Bent Tree Boys, he vaguely recalled that he was supposed to be in on the escape attempt. He sauntered over, woke his two fallen comrades, had another drink and then freed their incarcerated colleague. All four rode off into the night, ended up in Mexico, and none of them could remember how they got there that next morning.

So the story of the Bent Tree Boys begins…

Joining the Posse

If you can ride and shoot like we drink, we'll probably shoot you out of spite.

Members


 * Josue La Astucia
 * Loco Zorro
 * Chunns of Anarchy
 * Captial Gains Janes