Note from Robert Elliot Patchen

The Note from Robert Elliot Patchen is one of the notes in Red Dead Redemption 2.

Content
To he who finds this,

I am told, by those who attend my shows, applauding mightily, throwing flowers upon the stage when I perform in San Francisco, or Chicago, St. Denis, or New York, that I should be the happiest, gayest person alive. That when the curtain closes, and the roar of applause engulfs, and we walk back out on stage for a bow, I should be basking in adulation. Instead, I am riddled with despair.

I need to be inebriated on wine or numb from laudanum to relish and recapture the exhilarations I had as a child. Make no doubt, dear reader, that I grinned with delight upon seeing that I was featured on a card for Millicent's Cigarettes. The Stars of the Stage! Indeed I do not find it queer that my card was listed after Jim Cobb, who I dare say has not sold out theaters in New York to my level, which is for certain.

But purchasing a packet of cigarettes and seeing my face inside did bring me joy, if briefly. I had to purchase a fair number to achieve this event, but it did finally bring delight. Though these moments are few and far between.

Looking in the mirror, at the gray receding hairline, being called upon to play roles of fathers and old men rather than the dashing hero, the romantic lead. I can suffer these indignities no longer. I am a lover, a poet, not a grandfather, a gardener.

Someone said that to insure success in this life all you need is ignorance and confidence. I am anything but an ignorant fool, and my confidence in all things letters and love fades and grows flaccid as each season passes. I simply cannot endure the facade of enjoying this and the company of any of you one moment longer.

I apologize, for everything.

Robert Elliot Patchen