Exhuming and Other Fine Hobbies/dialogues

[Marston comes upon a disheveled man graverobbing.]

Marston: Excuse me, are you Seth?

Seth: Who are you?

Marston: I'm a friend of Mr. West Dickens. My name's Marston. John Marston.

Seth: Goodbye, John Marston. It's been a great pleasure.

Marston: I need your help, Seth. We need your help. Me and Mr. West Dickens.

Seth: Let me be frank for one second, partner. I hate people. It was people who got me in this mess in the first place.

Marston: What mess?

Seth: Look at me. Look. Scrambling around, looking for maps, half insane. I ain't washed in 6 months, my hair's fallin' out, my mind's going.

Marston: What happened?

Seth: What happened? My partner! He stole half my map! I never would have done that to him. Never. Look at me.

Marston: Who did this to you?

Seth: My partner. My boy. My man. Moses Forth. I don't have the facility to tell you what I would have done for that man, and what I would do to him now.

Marston: Why?

Seth: Because he stole half my goddamn map.

Marston: And what map's that then?

Seth: The map, partner. The map that tells where it is.

Marston: Where what is, friend?

Seth: I ain't telling you that. I ain't. Don't make me tell, partner. It's mine. It's mine. All mine!

Marston: Sure. And where's this Moses now?

Seth: He's at Benedict Point. The law got him for exhuming. Some people...they feel differently. Not Moses. Him, me, we the same. The self same.

Marston: Well, come on, Seth. Let's go see Moses, get you your map back. Then, maybe you'll help me.

Seth: Alright, Partner. Let's go.

[They set out on the trail.]

Marston: How can you sink that low? Diggin' up graves and lootin' from the dead.

Seth: Hypocrites, the whole damn lotta you! Are you sayin' it's better to steal from the livin'? They're corpses. They don't care none.

Marston: These people been laid to rest.

Seth: You don't know nothin'. I talk to 'em, long after they been forgotten by every other fella. I tell 'em it's alright to be scared and alone. I embrace 'em when they're stinkin' and rotten.

Marston: I met some sick bastards in my time, Seth, but you, you're special.

Seth: Folk is cold and heartless all their lives. To me, they get warmer when they're actually cold and heartless. Surely that makes sense, to even you?

Marston: Not exactly it don't.

Seth: Are we really livin' anyway? Do you exist outside my mind? Maybe we're both havin' the same dream and when we wake up we'll die?

Marston: I certainly seem to be in some kind of nightmare.

Seth: Have you looked in the cave, Seth? No, it's very dark.

Marston: What did you say?

Seth: I-I didn't say nothin'.

Marston: I just heard you say somethin'.

Seth: You're a crazy man. You should get that head looked at.

Marston: Seth, I need someone who can get a wagon inside Fort Mercer. I was told you could help me but I'm not sure you even know what day it is.

Seth: I don't. I can't even tell you what year it is.

Marston: I knew this was a waste of time.

Seth: So, you wanna go after Bill Williamson, do you?

Marston: You know Bill?

Seth: Oh yes. I met Williamson and Deek and all them boys. Sometimes they call me on when they got some special job needs doin'. I got a reputation as a man who do things most other fellas won't.

Marston: Now, that I can believe.

Seth: I reckon you can get in there no bother. Assumin' you help me find this map, that is.

Marston: What's so important about this map?

Seth: Nothin' much. Just unimaginable riches and such like. A spark of hope that lit a ragin' fire I can't put out.

Marston: I thought as much. Another treasure hunter losin' everything in the search for nothin'.

Seth: Oh, I've lost it all partner. My wife, my children, my business. Good riddance to them all. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't wash, and I don't care.

Marston: I know, I can smell you from here.

Seth: Used to be about the money, but now...I don't know who I am no more.

[They arrive at Benedict Point.]

Seth: Alright, this is it. Let's stop here a moment and come up with a plan. As far as I know, Moses is bein' held in that shack. There's a couple deputies keepin' guard outside. Can you distract 'em while I sneak in for a quick parlay with that son-of-a-bitch?

Marston: I'm sure I can think of somethin'.

Seth: Lead 'em away from the shack and out of sight. Somewhere out past that hill.

[John steals the horse and rides off.]

Deputy 1: What the hell you doin'?

Deputy 2: Hell shall rain on you!

[John returns to Seth.]

Seth: Good job getting rid of them clowns. Now keep an eye out in case they come back. Moses? Oh...Moses? You got a visitor.

Moses: Oh my god. Seth? They arrested me. It weren't my fault.

[Moses bursts through the door and tries to take off.]

Moses: Get the hell away from me!

Seth: Get that slippery bastard! I need him alive, though.

[Marston retrieves the moron.]

Seth: Moses, you son of a bitch! Where's my damn map?

Moses: Damn you, Seth. Damn you, Seth. You've always been a twistly little freak. I ain't telling you shit!

Seth: Then I'm gonna cut you up piece by piece, 'til ya find your tongue.

Marston: Friend, this man's gone crazy in the sun. I suggest you take my advice and start talking.

Seth: Shut up, Marston, I wanna cut into a bonafide man's flesh! Ain't never cut into a live one before.

[Seth gets his knife ready.]

Moses: Oddfellow's Rest! It's in Oddfellow's Rest! Now get away from me once and for all!

Seth: Well ain't that a damn shame. I was starting to enjoy myself. I think you've gone and pissed yourself, Moses. Those deputies went and put a bounty on your head. Best we clear it now; don't need the law on our backs. I don't have no money but, I got me a pardon letter. Here, take it. You earned it for helpin' me with Moses. Come on, we can pay it off in the telegraph office.

[They visit the office and return to their horses.]

Seth: So, mister, thanks for your help.

Marston: Don't worry yourself with thanks, Seth. Just help me when I come asking.

Seth: No problem, mister.