The Sport of Kings and Liars/dialogues

Marston: Mr. West Dickens?

Nigel: Ah, Mr. Marston, how wonderful to see you, sir...how wonderful!

Marston: Are we ready then?

Nigel: Yes, sir. Nearly, sir. Fairly nearly, sir. I just need some cash to get some extra hardware fitted to my old Trojan horse here.

Marston: Your what?

Nigel: Never mind, sir. I can only presume that you have not enjoyed the benefits of a classical education, so I will not take umbrage if some of my allusions sail over your head, sir.

Marston: I won't pretend to understand you, but I will endeavor to make you understand me, either we do this right now or I put a bullet in you and get on with my day.

Nigel: Please, I knew you were a violent man, Mr. Marston, but I did not think you were a stupid one. We need money to outfit my carriage, to turn a simple craftsman's vehicle into something more subterfuge. And, I'm about to tell you how we are going to gain said cash. Now, I know that you ride very well... So come, sir, to Rathskeller Fork!

Nigel: So how are you, John?

Marston: Okay, all things considered. Hopefully, we can get through today without runnin' into another army of your satisfied customers.

Nigel: Onwards and upwards! I refuse to let the blind stupidity of the proletariat derail my calling in life.

Marston: Nothin' blind about it. I'd say they saw right through you.

Nigel: Ahh before knowledge comes doubt, my dear boy.

Marston: Everybody knows you're as crooked as a dog's hind leg, West Dickens.

NigelI resent that implication, John!

Marston: I wasn't implying, I was telling. If you're such a successful businessman, what are you doin' livin' in a cave?

Nigel: Delightfully Dickensian, isn't it?

Marston: If you say so.

Nigel: Are you familiar with the concept of philanthropy, John?

Marston: I'm surprised you are.

Nigel: Oh, I don't do any of this for myself, John. I hope you realize that.

Marston: You're crazy, old man.

Nigel: It's been quite a ride, John, hasn't it?

Marston: We haven't gone that far.

Nigel: No, I mean us. Ridgewood Farm, Gaptooth Breach, Plainview...we make quite a team you and me. Brains and brawn. We should consider a more permanent partnership.

Marston: This partnership ends as soon as I have Bill Williamson. I appreciate your help but I've just about had it with all your schemes. You need to realize what's at stake here.

Nigel: I know, John, I know. Just win this race and we'll be ready. I give you my word. There's Rathskeller Fork up ahead!

Referee: Gentlemen, this will be a fair race. No shooting, stabbing, cliff-pushing, rock-throwing, cactus-grinding, neck-lassoing, setting fires, or other acts that causes a rider to unfairly lose his way, nor bleed heavily or black out. Get yourselves ready. Ready! Set! Go!

(If Marston finishes first)

Nigel: He came, he saw, he conquered! What a fantastic spectacle, John! Let's take a moment to bask in the glory of our victory!

Marston: Have we got enough money now?

Nigel: Alright, alright, alright, alright. Ah, yes, once Seth and Irish have furnished their side of the bargain, I think we should be ready. Quite a team we've assembled, don't you think?

Marston: A bunko, a grave robber and a drunk. How can things possibly go wrong?