Red Harlow isn't Uncle because he is roughly the same age as John Marston in the games, Red Harlow was born like between 1860 to 1870 and Red Dead Revolver takes place around 1880's likely in 1888 and so they couldn't be the same person at all.
Rockstar confirmed that Red Dead Revolver did not take place in the same universe as the Redemption saga, so Uncle cannot be Red Harlow, simple as that. Third question down.